Story Time – Final Thoughts on a First Impression

How Soon is Now?

Dear Friends,

They say life happens when you’re making plans. I planned to write/blog more over the past year, but that didn’t happen. To say I was preoccupied is a bit of an understatement. Many of you know what’s been going on, but some of you don’t. So what was I doing instead of writing? Let’s take a look at the checklist:

Going to exotic places like Blue Ridge, Denver, Jamaica, Dallas, Speedway USA, and Buc-ee’s? Check

Hoarding Bourbon? Check

Visiting one of those fancy jewelry stores? Check

Proposing to my girlfriend? Check

What said proposal might have looked like

Getting promoted at work? Check

Planning a destination wedding in less than 90 days? Check

Sell my home for the last 15 years? Check

Getting married in Jamaica? In 22 days.

Celebrating with everyone else? In 44 days

As you can see from my list, I’ve been busy. Everything I just listed has happened since late January. There are great stories behind each one of these checkmarks, but I just haven’t found the time nor energy to sit down and write about them. If my stories about walking around for hours on end didn’t convince you that I was a glutton for punishment, maybe this list will. I do not recommend doing “all the things” at once, but I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. So let me try and answer some questions I’ve been getting asked lately.

Why a destination wedding?

The idea of a destination wedding was born out of the idea of keeping things simple. My fiancé, Lora, did not want a big wedding and neither did I. Two of our dear friends had a destination wedding in Jamaica which we attended, and it sold us on the idea. We immediately booked our wedding less than 90 days out back in Jamaica. To our very pleasant surprise, 18 of our friends and family will be joining us in Jamaica. We are getting married on July 22, at 3 p.m. at the over the water chapel at Sandals, Ochos Rios, Jamaica.

We are currently working on ways for our friends and family back at home to witness the event live. Who doesn’t love a zoom meeting?

90 Days, that seems quick, is there something we should know?

Yes, it’s quick. We would have done it in 60 days or less if it had just been just us. Is there something you should know? No. We just didn’t see a reason for putting it off for months or even a year. Not our style.

90 Days, are y’all crazy?

That’s debatable. I can neither confirm nor deny.

Are you going to do anything back here to celebrate?

Did you not read the checklist?!?! 44 days. To be fair, I wasn’t clear about that on the checklist. No, we haven’t sent out invitations yet. Just chill. Still working out all the fine details like if there is going to be a slip’n slide and/or karaoke.

Are y’all registered anywhere?

Ah, the most important question! No. We feel very fortunate in that we have had all of our needs and most of our wants met. In fact, I gave away most of my non-sentimental items when I moved out of my house earlier this month. Instead, we want to do something very different to celebrate our marriage. We’ve been working with the University of Montevallo to set up and endow a scholarship in the Social Work Program. Montevallo has always held a very special place in my heart and Lora is fond of the place herself. I’m a proud graduate of the program and I wouldn’t be where I am today without the many lessons I learned from my professors, instructors, and peers.

How can I donate?

Great question! We are currently working to get everything set up. That information will likely go out later next month, maybe with reception invitations.

Are you really going to try and run 500 miles for another fundraiser?

Where did this question come from? Who have you been talking to? Why would anyone in there right or even their wrong mind want to spend 10 days trying to cover 500 miles? That’s like 50 miles a day for over a week! What would my soon to be wife say about this? Wait… how big is the belt buckle?

I think I’ve answered enough questions for this blog post. Please join me again in 6 months when I still remember that I have this thing active. Until then, enjoy this wonderful music video from the 1980’s supergroup Europe.

Your Time, Your Heart, and Your Dues…

Jeff award — Jim Methvin presenting me with the Alumnus Loyalty Award last night.

These are the prepared remarks I gave last night at the University of Montevallo’s National Alumni Assocation Award Banquet…

Let me begin by saying I am truly honored and humbled to be standing in front of you right now. I’d like to thank the University of Montevallo National Alumni Association for presenting me with this award. I look out into the crowd and see people who I look up to as role models and mentors, and I many of you I call friend.

Before I get to my prepared remarks, there are several people out in the crowd who I feel need special recognition and I want to say thanks. Without them and their support, I would not be standing in front of you today.

Jim Methvin. Jim, you’ve been a mentor and a friend. My only regret is I didn’t know you when I was in college. It sure would have made my life easier at times.

Dr. Susan Vaughn. Thank you for always supporting me, yet challenging me. It has meant more to me than you may ever know. For those of you who don’t know, Montevallo has the top undergraduate social work program in the state. It did when I was in school, and Dr. Hitchcock, Dr. Newell, and Jeannie Duke are continuing on that tradition.

Last but certainly not least, my family who is sitting right in front of me. I don’t have time to thank you enough for all the love, support, and guidance you have given me. They are an amazing support network and I would like to introduce them to you.

Ryan Matson. Ryan is my childhood best friend. My Montevallo story doesn’t begin if not for you. I’m so thankful that you got to choose Montevallo to continue your story.

Jason Booi. My big brother when I got to Montevallo. I’ve learned so much from you and your family. Five years from now we will look back at this moment and smile my friend.

Jamie Purvis. My older brother who has watched over me far more than I realize at times.

Dad, you’ve always been there when I’ve needed you and given timely advice. It is still very much appreciated.

Mom, you are a social worker at heart. You never gave up on me, even after the doctors and other “professionals” did when I was a child. You didn’t take no for an answer. Thank you.

The story I want to tell you today comes from my time as a student and advisor to my fraternity. One of the things required of a pledge was to get an interview from every member of the organization. One of the questions they had to ask is “What do I owe the fraternity?” My answer for over a decade was always the same.

Your time, your heart, and your dues. Your time because you are going to get out of this organization exactly what you put into it. Your heart because if you don’t give it your all, you are just wasting your time and mine. Your dues because where friendship is free, insurance is not.

I’ve taken this same philosophy when it comes to being an alumnus of Montevallo. I give my time, my heart, and my dues. I volunteer my time and help when and where I can. As for my heart, let’s just say I have no shame supporting Montevallo. I really do give it my all. The purple suit has been probably one of the worst kept secrets. Last, but not least, I pay my dues. I was afforded many opportunities to further my education at Montevallo by alumni who gave to the social work program so that I could attend conferences and network as an undergraduate. I feel fortunate that I am able to help afford students the same opportunity now.

I don’t have to tell anybody in this room what a special place Montevallo is. You all already know it. I know I’m speaking to the choir in here, but my challenge to you is ask yourself am I giving my time, my heart, and my dues to help further the mission and vision of Montevallo? By giving of these things you make students, professors, staff, and administrators lives a little bit easier.

In closing, I would like to thank you once again for honoring me with the Alumnus Loyalty Award. Thank you from the whole of my heart. Now may I live up to the honor that you have bestowed upon me…

One Time, at the Children’s Fresh Air Farm…

During the last several months, I have had a lot of “forgotten” memories “rediscovered.” Most of them have put a smile on my face and even made me laugh. Some have not. Either way, I am grateful that they have come back after all this time. I’ve decided to start sharing some of them here. The first story comes from my first summer as a camp counselor…

Everybody had camp stories. The ones that keep coming back to me are the ones from the time I was a camp counselor at the Children’s Fresh Air Farm. I have many memories from my experiences there that I could write about. Some are extremely uplifting, while others would break your heart. Today’s story is more of a humorous one.

The Children’s Fresh Air Farm or “CFAF” is located in Bluff Park and was built in 1923 by the Independent Presbyterian Church of Birmingham. It is a 60-acre enclave of nature in suburbia. It has been used primarily to serve the underprivileged children of Birmingham and provides them with an opportunity to go to camp. The camp is provided as a free service to all campers and still is supported by Independent Presbyterian Church.

I was hired to be a Program Aide, and my job was to assist the Arts and Crafts Director. However, I was moved to the Outdoor Program Director right before camp started because of personnel shortages. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I had not come up with any programs. The gentleman I was taking the position from (he had to be a Cabin Counselor due to shortages) recommended for the first day, I teach the kids how to build a fire. Looking back at this, I’m not sure if he was being serious. Is it wise to teach 7 -12 year olds how to build a fire and use matches?

My first day out in the woods, I took a group of about 10 – 12 children out and had them gather sticks and branches to build a fire. It was a hot, humid day and everything was damp from a rain shower the night before. The kids were eager to help, and we built a tee-pee like structure from the materials they gathered. As you can imagine, damp wood does not burn very well, and sometimes not at all. When the time had come to switch groups, there was a nice structure but no fire. I felt a little embarrassed and humiliated at not being able to get the fire started while the first group was there.

While waiting for my second group, I took steps to ensure that my fire starting efforts would not meet the same fate. When the second group walked up, I had them gather some more material. While they were away, I liberally poured some rubbing alcohol all over an into the already built tee-pee. I then gathered them around the structure and asked them to watch me. I pulled out a box of matches in one hand and removed a match with the other. I then said, “Kids, this is how you start a fire.” I struck the match and casually tossed it into doused structure much in the same way one would discard a used cigarette.

images (52) — Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol…

Flames immediately began towering from the structure, and we used the newly gathered materials to keep the fire going. The kids were amazed! I used the same trick with the third and final group that day. I went about the rest of my business and forgot about the whole event.

About a week later, one of the male cabin counselors approached me at breakfast after taking his campers on an overnight excursion into the woods. He said that his campers knew how to build the tee-pee structure quite well. However, when one of the campers volunteered to light the fire, he was amazed at what he saw. He said the young boy just kept lighting matches and just throwing them at the wood structure. As you can imagine, it did not light. The counselor then asked me what I did and explained it to him. He just shook his head, laughed, and went about his day. The moral of this story is that you should never teach children how to start forest fires.