Yesterday it had been one year since my last surgery. Trying to remember anything from the first few months following surgery are actually still foggy, but I remember almost everything from the day of the surgery. I published my first blog post to this site attempting to explain things to some and clarify things to others. If you have not read it, I recommend you click here before reading on or you might be a little confused.
So what is different a year later?
Cosmetically, not much. Unless you haven’t seen me in the last 15 years or so you wouldn’t notice really anything different. My eyes tracking together has gotten better and that’s about it.
Mentally, everything is different. The last 12 months I’ve my life have been the most interesting in my life. To be honest, I only really remember about the last 10 of them. The first two after surgery are really just a blur at this point. For those of you who know how much I love my memory, its rather frustrating not being able to remember big chunks of two months of your life. Before I get any further tangents, I’ll try answer some questions.
Why is everything “mentally” different? The world just looks different. When things looks different, you perceive and process it differently. In the past, things returned to “normal” several months after surgery. This time it never did. I can’t tell you if it is a good thing or a bad thing. It’s just different.
Does this bother you? It is more frustrating than anything else. I’m not sure if it is the new “normal” and things are truly better or something is truly wrong. I lean very heavily towards the new “normal.” I feel like my peripheral vision is better and that things are better. However, my mind is taking a lot longer to adjust to these changes. Hence the reason why everything is “mentally” different.
What is “normal” to you and why would it have changed? or Why do you not remember much from after the surgeries? I had two separate eye surgeries within four months of each other. After each prior past surgery I had periods of times to adjust and develop a new “normal.” I don’t think I ever fully recovered or adjusted from surgery number six before I had surgery number seven. So when I had both eyes operated on last December, it changed everything.
I don’t remember many details from last January and February, but what I do remember is everything being very different after the surgery. It was like everything was “out of place” and things looked very “surreal.” An good analogy would be it was like looking at the world through someone else’s glasses. To be honest, it still feels very surreal right now when I start thinking about it. It was like my mind was having a very difficult time trying to understand and process what it was seeing. It’s gradually improved or either I’ve just gotten used to it.
Why would having eye surgery mess with your memory? We perceive the world through our senses. Most people rely on what they see and what they hear the most. Most of the way my memory functions is tied to sight. Changing the way I see things also seemed to change the way I processed and stored memories. It caused a “hiccup” in my process. The mind is a powerful thing and has seemed to adjust to the new settings.
Are you done with surgeries? I don’t know. Right now I don’t feel like the issues I’m experiencing are something that can be fixed with a scalpel. I feel like they are cognitive. I saw the world a certain way for 32.5 years. I obviously feel like I see it differently now and I’m still relatively new to it. For the time being, I’m sticking to my mantra of Patient Time.
What’s next? Patient time… and a brand new season of Archer on January 17th!
If you have any questions feel free to post them in a comment or just ask! Thank you for reading.
Final Thoughts on a First Impression 