They say life happens when you’re making plans. I planned to write/blog more over the past year, but that didn’t happen. To say I was preoccupied is a bit of an understatement. Many of you know what’s been going on, but some of you don’t. So what was I doing instead of writing? Let’s take a look at the checklist:
Going to exotic places like Blue Ridge, Denver, Jamaica, Dallas, Speedway USA, and Buc-ee’s? Check
Blue RidgeNegrilSpeedway
Hoarding Bourbon? Check
Visiting one of those fancy jewelry stores? Check
Proposing to my girlfriend? Check
What said proposal might have looked like
Getting promoted at work? Check
Ace was just as surprised as you were
Planning a destination wedding in less than 90 days? Check
Sell my home for the last 15 years? Check
Getting married in Jamaica? In 22 days.
Celebrating with everyone else? In 44 days
As you can see from my list, I’ve been busy. Everything I just listed has happened since late January. There are great stories behind each one of these checkmarks, but I just haven’t found the time nor energy to sit down and write about them. If my stories about walking around for hours on end didn’t convince you that I was a glutton for punishment, maybe this list will. I do not recommend doing “all the things” at once, but I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. So let me try and answer some questions I’ve been getting asked lately.
Why a destination wedding?
The idea of a destination wedding was born out of the idea of keeping things simple. My fiancé, Lora, did not want a big wedding and neither did I. Two of our dear friends had a destination wedding in Jamaica which we attended, and it sold us on the idea. We immediately booked our wedding less than 90 days out back in Jamaica. To our very pleasant surprise, 18 of our friends and family will be joining us in Jamaica. We are getting married on July 22, at 3 p.m. at the over the water chapel at Sandals, Ochos Rios, Jamaica.
The wedding chapel in question
We are currently working on ways for our friends and family back at home to witness the event live. Who doesn’t love a zoom meeting?
90 Days, that seems quick, is there something we should know?
Yes, it’s quick. We would have done it in 60 days or less if it had just been just us. Is there something you should know? No. We just didn’t see a reason for putting it off for months or even a year. Not our style.
90 Days, are y’all crazy?
That’s debatable. I can neither confirm nor deny.
Are you going to do anything back here to celebrate?
Who doesn’t like to party?
Did you not read the checklist?!?! 44 days. To be fair, I wasn’t clear about that on the checklist. No, we haven’t sent out invitations yet. Just chill. Still working out all the fine details like if there is going to be a slip’n slide and/or karaoke.
Are y’all registered anywhere?
Ah, the most important question! No. We feel very fortunate in that we have had all of our needs and most of our wants met. In fact, I gave away most of my non-sentimental items when I moved out of my house earlier this month. Instead, we want to do something very different to celebrate our marriage. We’ve been working with the University of Montevallo to set up and endow a scholarship in the Social Work Program. Montevallo has always held a very special place in my heart and Lora is fond of the place herself. I’m a proud graduate of the program and I wouldn’t be where I am today without the many lessons I learned from my professors, instructors, and peers.
How can I donate?
Great question! We are currently working to get everything set up. That information will likely go out later next month, maybe with reception invitations.
Are you really going to try and run 500 miles for another fundraiser?
Where did this question come from? Who have you been talking to? Why would anyone in there right or even their wrong mind want to spend 10 days trying to cover 500 miles? That’s like 50 miles a day for over a week! What would my soon to be wife say about this? Wait… how big is the belt buckle?
It better be bigger than this one.
I think I’ve answered enough questions for this blog post. Please join me again in 6 months when I still remember that I have this thing active. Until then, enjoy this wonderful music video from the 1980’s supergroup Europe.
It has been just over a month since I started my longest race to date in New Jersey. I did not expect it to take me this long to take the time to compose my thoughts and share them with you. By far, this race was the most complicated and hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m still drained by it in a way I can’t quite explain. The race itself was the culmination of over 15 months of preparation and countless hours of mind-numbing speculation. I am going to spare you the details of all that preparation and share my race experience in the way I experienced it.
Before I begin, I want to tip my hat and say thanks to Rick and Jen McNulty and their whole family for a wonderful event. Three Days at the Fair is a well-run event, and that starts with having great race directors/hosts. After experiencing the event I understand why folks have come back year after year to the fair. The atmosphere they help create is welcoming and encouraging. When you’re in over 96+ hours into an event, that can make the difference between finishing strong or convincing yourself to quit. I would like to give a special shout out to their son Randy who was there to greet me every lap during those cold, mind numbing nights. It was very much appreciated and helped me maintain just a touch of my sanity.
Setup
I arrived in New Jersey at the Sussex County Fairgrounds around lunch on Sunday, May 9th, just in front of a nice rainstorm. When I arrived, there were only a handful of folks milling around and picking out spots along the course to set up their tents/aid stations. The real fancy people had motor homes/trailers/popups already placed around the first 2/10ths of a mile of the 1-loop. During this time, I met Steve Smith from Kentucky. Steve is a seasoned endurance racer whose crazy race calendar makes me look a lot saner. I would not have survived the first 96 hours without Steve’s continuous encouragement and checking in.
The initial setup for Day 1 at the Fair
Ultimately, I selected a place on the out and back straightaway next to Steve a little less than a 1/10th of a mile from the start/finish line. I set up my pop tent and placed my cot tent right behind it and conversed with my fellow racers before leaving to get last minute supplies. I opted to spend the night in a half a star Econolodge in town of Newton, New Jersey, instead of my tent. This would be the last time I would sleep more than 4 hours straight for the next 3 weeks.
The Fundraiser
On top of running a race, I was running a fundraiser for Shelby Emergency Assistance (SEA). My idea was why not kill two birds with one stone. 2020 kept SEA from conducting many of their usual fundraising events. I felt like the race would be a unique way to raise funds so the slogan was born, “Jeff will run so that you don’t have to.” Slick campaign flyers and photos were made up and we started the campaign roughly 10 days before the race with a fundraising goal of $5,000 for SEA or $10 for every kilometer I planned to cover.
My Goals
I had several different levels of goals for my 6 Days at the Fair. My first and minimal goal was to get 311 miles (500 kilometers) of movement in over the course of the event to support the fundraiser. That translates to just over 52 miles a day. My secondary goal and target goal was to get 372 miles (600 kilometers). My reach goal was 404 miles. My game plan was to knock out 75-80 miles in the first 24 hours with 1-2 hours of sleep during that time followed by 4 hours of sleep in every 24-hour period following that except for Day 6 where I would settle for only 2 hours of sleep. With my fuzzy math this came out to 120 hours of movement and 24 hours of sleep/rest. The thing about game plans and ultras and endurance races is that they are all good and fine until you encounter blisters.
Race Day
I arrived back at the fairgrounds about 2 hours before race time. Other folks had started to fill in the open spaces next to the out and back area around me. It seemed to be a popular spot. I slowly began to meet many of the other folks just as crazy as me. In all, 48 people signed up and started the 144-hour race. In addition to our race, there were folks running a variety of other races including 72-, 48-, 24-, 12-, and 6-hour races. Every morning at 9 a.m. folks would start their respective races. This made things a lot more interesting as we got closer to the weekend when folks running a 24- or 12-hour race with fresh legs.
The Loop
I made the conscious choice NOT to go around the loop prior to the race. I wanted to be surprised on Monday morning. The thing about 1-mile loops is that they are not created equally. Hour after hour and day after day they wear on you differently. From above, the course looked like a mushroom with a line coming out of the bottom of it (the out and back). The course began on a nice brick concourse that was a false flat with structures on either side and big hardwood trees providing cover. It was immediately followed by a concession stand area that served as the race aid station. A small 2-3 foot step up put the course’s restrooms right in front of you before a quick zig-zag that led to the out and back part of the course. This is where the bulk of people set up their aid stations/RVs/tents. The back part of the out and back slow slid down a small decline before it took a right with a slight incline to break back left on a long half mile bend that would make the top of the mushroom. At the end of the long bend there was another left on an unpaved gravel path for a short stint before making a right and then another left to carry you back to the start finish line. If you are wondering, I typed all this from memory as the course is permanently burned into my memory now.
The Race
Day 1 Monday Funday
My race began at 9 a.m. on Monday, May 10th. I started the race in true Alabama fashion with my Bubba Gump hat along with Run Forest Run shirt from the 717-mile virtual race infrom 2020. For good measure, I color coordinated with shirt my socks with my shirt. If you are going to look tacky, at least try and look good doing it.
My first day on the course went well. I put down 73 miles, slept for about an hour and a half, with no blisters. I mixed running with mostly walking. I focused on only running the declines on Day 1 and walked the rest. Overall, I was happy with how things started off. I felt great and moved great. The first night was cooler than I expected, and that helped slow me down a little. Either way, all my goals were still in reach, and almost nothing was bothering me.
Day 2 Sleepless in Augusta: Part 1
Day 2 continued on from Day 1’s success. A handful of runners showed up at 9 a.m. to start their respective races as the fools in the 144-hour race kept moving on. At this point in the race, I had a pretty good idea on who everyone was and their ability level. It was fun to watch the front runners as they lapped me and watch their effort levels. There were some truly amazing athletes out on the course and watching their performances was inspiring and encouraging. During this time, I listened to primarily audiobooks during the day and my music playlist at night. I hit my first 100 miles before dark and got a couple of more laps in before trying to get my first real sleep. It did not work. I laid down around 8 p.m. and was back up at 9 p.m. without sleeping. 4 hours later I tried again. I managed to lay around for 2 more hours without being able to fall asleep. My pace slowed and my left knee started bothering me during an even colder night than the first. At the 48-hour mark, I was just 122 miles in. About 10-15 miles less than I had planned.
Day 3 Sleepless in Augusta: Part 2
On Day 3 the lack of sleep and bum knee started getting to me. I briefly left the racecourse around 11 a.m. to go get a knee brace at a local Walgreens. Ultimately, it was more of a nuisance than a help l, and I quickly abandoned it. I opted to slow down my pace and keep moving as I found myself unable to go to sleep. I began to feel the wear and tear on my body as it desperately wanted rest. My body was so amped up that it was unable to find rest. When it got dark around 9 p.m., I opted to go take a shower and try and sleep. The warm water helped my aching muscles, but once again I tossed and turned for an hour before I gave up on sleep and went back on the course. At this point I was unable to carry a conversation with anyone. I covered 46 miles on Day 3 to 168 miles, and I began to feel my race slip away.
Day 4 Sleepless in Augusta: Part 3
I hit my lowest point on Day 4. My body and mind were so exhausted that I could not rest. At this point, I was over 24 hours without caffeine as I was trying to help my body rest. I went out and would complete a lap , and come back and try toand sleep. I did this pattern for most of the daylight hours. My memories from days 3 and 4 are spotty at best as I really do not recall much except several conversations with Steve and my girlfriend, Lora. Steve had been fairly close on mileage with me up to this point and then he put 30 – 40 extra miles on me during the day as he got his second wind.
At this point I began reassessing my goals. I never thought my inability to sleep would do me in at an endurance race. But that is where I found myself. At around 5 p.m. that day, I left the fairgrounds again and drove into a local diner in Newton to eat a normal meal. I was looking for anything to help me sleep. I had been taking melatonin gummies and depriving myself of alcohol for well over 30 hours at this point. I came back to the fairgrounds and propped my feet up and tried to relax. Frustration does not adequately describe where my headspace was at during this time. I took another shower and finally, at 9 p.m. I fell asleepto sleep for 4 hours.
They say nothing good happens after midnight. I tend to agree, but not in this case. When I woke up, I was shaking from the cold. My body had been running hot the last couple of days and those early May New Jersey nights ain’t nothing to mess with. Those 4 hours of precious sleep changed the trajectory of my race. It would be all I needed to complete my race. I got back out on the track and began making laps again. I was not as fast as I once was, but much faster than I had been. I started running calculations in my head of what I needed to get back to my goal of 311 miles and I was doing well enough that is was still a possibility. At 9 a.m. Friday morning I had completed only 24 laps for a 24-hour period for a total of 192 miles, but I had a new lease on life. I also had much needed support coming. I began looking at this race like a 48-hour race. I only needed 119 miles to meet my goal.
Day 5 Eastbound and ‘Round
With semi-rested legs and a new lease on life I kept plugging away miles and the stupendous rate of 2.8 – 3.2 miles per hour from roughly 6 a.m. on Friday, all afternoon, and into the night. I had switched off audio books to the Ski playlist I had made for my time out on the slopes in Colorado. It kept me moving. Every lap I recalculated what I needed to make my goal. It only changed by seconds, but I kept banking time.
Roughly 105 hours into race, the main thing I had been missing showed up: my crew. By biggest mistake/regret during this whole race was not having a crew with me. It slowed me down considerably every time I took breaks or when I needed to find something. Activities I’m used to taking me 5 minutes took 10 -15. It is also hard to work on your feet or get good rest when you are doing everything yourself.
My girlfriend Lora arrived at roughly 6 p.m. and joined me for a couple of laps to see the course. She was the one behind the time lapse video made that WordPress won’t let me share without paying them lots of monies. Her first task was grabbing me a sandwich from Jimmy Johns from a place called Sparta a couple of miles away. I needed some different fuel than I had been getting. I never got to ask her when she walked into that Jimmy John’s if she said, “This is Sparta,” but I would like to believe she did. At least that is the way I’m going to remember it.
I kept trudging away the miles and keeping my pace above where it needed to be to meet my goal. I made the decision that I would forgo sleep again as I was not tired anymore. Looking back, I do not think I would have been able to sleep if I had wanted to. The primary reason being that Lora had already occupied my one-person cot tent and was sound asleep. The secondary reason was that I was still carrying that second wind. My mood was great, my body was moving, and I was experiencing that runner’s high that I had not seen since my first day. At the 120 hours mark I found myself at 256 miles covering 64 miles in the previous 24 hours. A far cry from the pitiful 24 miles I had put up from the day before.
Day 6 – No Sleep Til’ Brooklyn
At 9 a.m. my goal became clear. I needed to cover 55 miles in the last 24 hours to reach 311 miles. The day got off to a great start and then it started getting hot. Nothing will zap you quicker at an endurance race than temperatures getting into the 70’s with humidity and sunshine. We also picked up a plethora of new people running a variety of shorter races. The track got fuller, and I felt my energy starting to zap away around noon, but I did not stop. I attempted to slow down my pace slightly to try and conserver energy and keep my heart rate down. Cloud cover moved in the early afternoon giving some respite from the sun, but it was still hot and humid, and I forged on. At this point I’d make 5 – 8 laps and stop to take a break and let Lora work on my feet. At this point, I had a lot of inflammation in the bottom of my feet. Herurt foot rubs were one of the reasons I was able to finish.
By 9 p.m. that night I had crossed the 286-mile mark. I started to feel the effects from lack of sleep and a bit too much sun, but I knew I did not have time to rest. There was no guarantee my body would start back up from a 2–3-hour nap, and I did not want to risk it at this point. I trudged on into the night and was kept conscious mainly by the 12 – 24-hour racers who were passing me really frequently. There is nothing like watching someone on 3 hours legs versus those on 135-hour legs.
Around 1:30 a.m. I passed the 300-mile mark and made my 303 miles (The Belt Buckle distance) at 2:53 a.m. to an almost empty concourse. I decided to have a little fun and use a prop that had showed up earlier on Saturday, a plastic leg. Here is that video in its fullness:
When I got back to my tent to have my feet worked on following that lap, I passed out within 15 seconds of Lora starting to work on my feet. She let me sleep for 45 minutes as I was beyond tired. I got up and struggled through the final 8 miles and completed lap 311 around 7 a.m. Lora was there with me for my final lap as she made the wise decision that I needed to stop. Lora began cleaning and packing up as I stretched my legs before going to shower.
The Aftermath
There were many great things about the race, but the award ceremony was special. The New Jersey Trail Series has been hosting this event for over a decade, and they give out awards for lifetime miles. I got to watch several people receive awards for lifetime miles in the thousands. It was obvious that they have a very tight knit trail running community in New Jersey and watching this ceremony just reinforced what I had been seeing all week. My biggest regret is I did not get to enjoy all the camaraderie as I spent too much time in my head fighting the inability to sleep.
The fruit of 6 days of labor on my “vacation”
After receiving two lifetime medal tokens for mileage (100, 250) and a brand new “303” belt buckle we started the drive south through the Delaware Gap and on down Interstate 81. Surprise, surprise, I was unable to sleep on the car ride south. We stopped in Virginia after driving for 7 hours and spent the night before coming the rest of the way home on Monday. Sitting in the car for a 15+ hour drive was probably not the best way to recover, but I needed to get home from my “vacation” to get back to work.
I was fortunate as I did not suffer many of the setbacks, I’ve faced in my previous endurance races. I had very few blisters and I was still able to walk well after stopping the race. My biggest problem was sleep. It took me over 3 weeks after the race to sleep more than 7 hours continuously. My Fitbit tracker told me that I got 14 hours of sleep during the 144-hour race. However, I know that many of those times it counted an hour of rest here and there I did not sleep. I realistically got around only 6 hours of actual sleep across a 144-hour period. As I write this now, I feel like I am still recovering from this aspect of the race. For now, I will continue to recover and likely wait until October to attempt my next multi-day race: The Endless Mile.
Thank You’s
I would like to start of by thanking the McNulty’s once again for hosting an amazing race. I would like to thank Steve Smith for helping me keep my sanity during the first four days of the race and beyond. I can’t believe you went and did another multi-day race 4 days later. You are a Wildman! I would Like to thank Dr. Amiee Mellon for putting together a wonderful fundraising campaign for SEA. I would also like to thank Lora Vaughn for coming to my rescue, getting me across the finish line and home. This would not have been possible without you. Finally, I would like to thank all of you who gave to the SEA campaign. That $7,500 will go a long way to helping families in Shelby County.
The question I have gotten asked the most over the last several years is some variation of “how do you run a hundred miles?” My two go to answers are, “I don’t” and “one step at a time.” I’ve grown to love movement over the last several years and it has become part of my daily DNA. I’ve learned that movement is not as much about the distance, speed, or the time as it is about just the movement itself. I’ve adopted the mantra of one of my doctors, “Movement is medicine.” This past year, movement was where I found my solace when the world around me changed. It’s likely how I managed to keep my sanity. This might not have been entirely what the good doctor means by the motto, but he’s not wrong.
To occupy my time during the beginning of the pandemic last spring, I set some lofty goals because I felt like it was a great way to pass the time. I ended up blowing right past the physically-based ones and averaged just more than 8.5 miles of intentional movement a day over a four-month period. A couple of those days, I went for more than 50k. All the hard work allowed me to beat my previous 100-mile time by almost 7 hours at last year’s edition of the Endless Mile. Unfortunately, I left some of my reach goals still on the table at the conclusion of the race. Since then, I’ve celebrated my victories and doubled down on some of my goals. Unlike years past, I did not hibernate this winter. I kept on moving to get ready for my next race.
The Endless Mile, 2020 (Cute Dog did not do the whole 105 miles)
On May 10th, I’ll attempt to step my game up another level as I will participate in my longest race yet: 3 Days at the Fair in New Jersey. However, there is one small caveat; I will not be doing the 3-day option. I will be doing the 6-day option instead. Another motto I’ve adopted is “Go big or don’t go at all.” I figured the best way to enjoy a vacation is by doing the same one-mile loop over and over again…for 144 hours. Before you ask, I’ve put a lot of thought and preparation into this process. In fact, this is my third stab at a longer multiday event. The last two were cancelled because of the pandemic. Looks like the third time is a charm for me, and I’m very much looking forward to the challenge.
Now that I’ve gotten your attention, I’m doing something different with this long event opportunity. Instead of focusing on personal goals, I’m dedicating the event to fundraising and spreading awareness to a local non-profit that I hold near and dear to me: Shelby Emergency Assistance (SEA). At SEA, the goal is to provide necessities (food, housing, utilities and medical care) to people in crisis and to help them achieve self-sufficiency. SEA does things a little differently. They go the extra mile to help clients establish budgets, seek educational goals, find better occupational opportunities, and make financial plans so they will feel more empowered and engaged within their community.
The range of people SEA reaches in their community is utterly expansive. It may be someone stopping to pick up school supplies for someone else in need or providing an Easter basket for their children. It could be providing resources to someone needing surgery or healthcare supplies or helping someone without power. It might be providing support for the homeless or for working parents who have had to stay home due to COVID or families who have babies in the NICU. No matter the circumstances, everyone is greeted and given the chance to talk with a social worker about themselves, their family, resources, advancement, and so much more!
My goal is to fundraise at least $10 for every kilometer I plan to cover during my “6 Days at the Fair” for Shelby Emergency Assistance. I aim to go at least 500 kilometers (roughly 311 miles). That equates to $5000. There is no guarantee that I will make that distance. A lot of things can go wrong when you are doing anything distance related, but you can bet my nasty, swelling feet that I’ll keep moving until I can’t!
To make things interesting, a couple of friends came up with the idea of “donating for Jeff to run for you (so you don’t have to!)” and different levels of giving. So, I’m going to run with it…or maybe just walk! For $50, I’ll run/walk that 5k that you’ve put off. For $100, I’ll do the 10K. To keep things simple, $200 for the half marathon and $500 for the 50k. Of course, these are just suggested levels to spice things up, and any donation is greatly appreciated. I don’t think I will have the time or the capacity to write about this journey while I’m in it. Instead, I intend to do shout outs and videos along the way thanking those who give to Shelby Emergency Assistance through this fundraising campaign. You will get a firsthand look at my journey through this process. I hope you will join me in it by helping me fundraise for my great friends at Shelby Emergency Assistance.
Note: There is no marathon option because I don’t run marathons.
P.S. You can click here, here, or here to donate today. Please feel free to share this with your friends and family.
The end is nigh! Well at least for this weird and bizzarro year that has been known as 2020. For most of us, it began with high hopes but now is mostly focused on simply getting to late Spring/Summer of 2021 when (hopefully) the world becomes a more likable/normalized place. The reality is, it won’t. Every generation has its defining moment, and the COVID-19 Pandemic will be it for this one. These defining moments can be game-changers, and I’m hoping for the most positive outcome from this one. If anything, we’ve learned how interconnected and fragile this world can be. It hasn’t taken much to upset the apple cart and cause many institutions, structures and, in turn, people to suffer. The Pandemic has put a spotlight on mental health issues, and my hope and prayer is that we don’t let this spotlight disappear as things normalize. There will be costs associated to the last 10 months (and the next six or so) that won’t show up in traditional means but in the mental health category. It will be important that we as a society don’t forget that and address this often-ignored and underserved area with proper resources and understanding. But this is a soapbox for another day. Hindsight is 2020 and I like to write a little bit about mine and how I coped with it. Consider a year in review.
Part 1 – Life happens while you’re making plans
Back in January, 2020, life looked bright and Bountiful
I can break my year down into three distinct parts. The first part encompasses the first four months of the year. My 2019 was a year I wanted to forget. There were too many changes, deaths, and upheavals in my life. Part of it was that I bit off more than I could chew and ended up being chewed up and spit out instead. The saving grace for last year is that I started changing some of my patterns that would ultimately help me get through 2020. The first was my eating habits (intermittent fasting) and the second was listening to audiobooks. Those two simple changes that I made in September of 2019 are the reasons I’m leaving my 2020 better than I entered it.
Like most years, I made goals for 2020. My initial goals were simple. I wanted to use all my vacation in 2020, travel internationally, complete a 72- hour endurance race, get below 200 pounds. By the end of March most of these goals would not be attainable or realistic for me because of factors outside my control. Only the last goal of getting below 200 pounds was feasible by this time. Everything else would have to wait.
But life wasn’t all bad—my 2020 got off to a great start. A New Year’s Eve party led to a weeklong ski trip in Colorado in January. I made choices to move on from people in my life and was in the beginning of “formal season” when Friday, March 13th hit and the world turned upside down. If you are asking yourself what “formal season” is, it’s when there is a charity event almost every Friday and Saturday night in Birmingham through April. For about $150 a weekend, you can get dressed up, dance, and connect with people.
When the world turned upside down, my activities became pretty much isolated to work and ensuring the safety of our essential work staff. This carried on through the rest of March and April. My only escapes were the trails and my audiobooks. I spent at least one—if not both—weekend days out in nature on the trails of Oak Mountain State Park, Cahaba River Park, or Red Mountain Park. By the middle-to-end part of April, it was the only thing keeping me sane. As an old friend used to tell me, nothing changes until something changes. So, something had to change.
Part 2 – Life Marches On… a 1,000 miles at a time
It wasn’t all running, but mostly running, mostly…
There is an old saying that an idle mind is the devil’s playground. I quickly discerned that the Pandemic was going to stretch on for a while, and knew I needed to better fill my time than watching Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, and Disney Plus. I sat down and rethought and tinkered with my goals. I wrote about my new goals back on May 1st in hopes to encourage others to make lemonade out of the lemons they were given. Funny thing about goals is, when you speak them into existence (especially print), they become more tangible. For those of you who are too lazy to look back, here were my goals:
Financial Goals
Double the amount of money that I have in Savings by the end of the year. (Met)
Intellectual Goals
Read/listen to 24-30 books by the end of the year. (40 Books)
Physical Goals
Achieve and maintain weight range of between 195 – 205 lbs. (The Mendoza Line) (Maintained)
Achieve a body fat percentage less than 15% (NOPE!)
Complete more than 1, 100 mile or more races including The Endless Mile. (1/2)
Complete a 1,000 kilometre race (1,000 mile complete)
Relational Goals
Develop and maintain 2 or more new life enhancing/giving/breathing relationships this year. (1/2)
Spiritual Goals
Seek God’s wisdom first in my decision making (subjective, but tried)
Become literate in all of Jesus’s parables by the end of the year. (Never found right source material, added to 2021)
The second act, or part, falls neatly into the May through August timeframe. I took a hard run at the first four goal areas with the focus on my physical and intellectual goals. I got below the 200-lb. mark and have stayed there since May 1st. That goal was more than six years in the making. I started the day at 200.5 lbs. and ended it at 195.5 lbs. The 1st of 5, 50+ kilometer days over the summer didn’t hurt. That was all part of the 1,000-kilometer Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee (GVRAT 1000) that I finished in 58 days. I’d eventually sign up to complete the 1,000-mile Great Virtual Race Back Across Tennessee and complete it. When it was all said and done, I completed over 1,020 miles this past summer, and more than 90% of them were spent alone.
Running/walking my way through summer probably helped save my sanity. Well, that and some very deep conversations with friends on Facebook messenger. The movement goals became my primary focus and driver of my activity-planning for several months. It gave me something to look forward to and a purpose outside of work. There weren’t many days that I would go out and do less than 8-10 miles of intentional movement. I paired the activity with listening to my audiobooks. I went through all 14 books of the Wheel of Time Series as well the Bobiverse. I listened to half a dozen post-apocalyptic novels, several of which were based on flu pandemics. Station Eleven was probably the best out of that bunch. I closed out this year listening to the Witcher Series. All that walking/running/reading helped keep me off the couch this summer. My final count was 40 audio books for the year 2020. That’s a far cry from the two total books I read/listened to from 2001 – August 2019. My chiropractor has a saying, “Movement is Medicine.” For me, movement was medicine for the soul. The constant mileage helped prepare me for my end-of-year goals, two endurance races.
Part 3 – This Is Not the End…
The final part of my year encompasses the last four months of the year. But before I get to that, I failed to mention that I was trying the “wonderful” invention that is online dating during the Pandemic. I could write some really great stories that came from the experience. I met some great ladies along the way. I also learned that my pickup lines could have used some work. But it was one comment on a picture of young lady dressed in a T-Rex outfit that seemed to work. I simply said, “I think we’d get along.” Five months later that comment is still spot-on.
My summer focused on movement helped prepare me to go after several lofty goals I had set. One was to complete my 5th 100-mile race. My reach-goal was to do it in less than 30 hours, almost a full four hours faster than my fastest time. Hard work pays off! I set personal records for my 50k, 50 mile, 100K, 24 hours, and 100-mile distances at the 2020 Endless Mile. My time was 26:47:30 on that 100 miles (more than a full 7 hours faster than my previous best.) My 24-hour distance was 18 miles better than the previous high. I felt amazing this year compared to every other year. I never hit a pain cave or a point where I was questioning my sanity during that first 100 miles. In fact, my 100th mile was sub-12-minute pace. The last quarter of that was sub-7-minute pace.
The only time that all three Purvis brothers were together was at the 100th mile of the Endless Mile.
Unfortunately, my race ended at 105 miles. My knee hit an immediate snag and my race was done with over 18 hours left on the clock. I actually ran over 30% of that first 100 miles. I went out a little too hard and didn’t ever slow down. That in combination with bad form and an aggravated ankle were my downfall. Correctible issues and teachable moments. My reach distance goal was 150 miles for the Endless Mile, which was very attainable, even with a significant slowdown. A different time and place, I would have made the decision to push through, but I’m not as stubborn or stupid as I once was…I don’t think. I still had one more race on the calendar at the time. A Race Across the Years…
But life happens while you’re making plans. The Race Across the Years was what I had been training for since the original 3 Days at the Fair was cancelled back in the Spring. I was going to skip the 72-hour race and go straight for the jugular: A 500K race in late December/early January in Arizona. Most of my jumps in distances have been drastic. I went from doing 5k’s to half-marathons (13.1 miles) in 2013. From half-marathons to ultramarathons (31.1 miles) in 2014. From ultramarathons to 100-milers in 2016. So why not 300-milers in 2020?
Not all stories have happy endings, but this one is neither happy nor sad. In the words of the great American philosopher Nicholas L. Saban, Jr., “It is what it is.” At the time I was finishing my laps at the Endless Mile the event was cancelled. Part of me is still wonder what if, but I’ve since moved on. I closed out my running this year on a brutal 55k known as the Blood Rock or Snow White and the Seven Dwarves as I prefer to call it. I’ve just tried to keep moving since then and maintain my sanity.
My 2020 ends in a better place than it started, and I found out just a little bit more about myself along the way. It’s easy to look back and see how I would have done things differently because, of course, Hindsight is 2020. Some day when I look back on this weird year, I’ll probably remember it more fondly than what it actually was: a detour. We are often only concerned with the destination and not the journey. This year definitely was a journey that I did not see coming, and I will still spend a long time processing. But I can’t complain about the end result in my world.
I’ve had many different adventures in my life. Some of the decisions leading up to them have been wiser than others. For example, getting a second master’s degree was probably one of my better ideas. More questionable things include dressing up in full-body spandex suits for sporting events and running 5k races in said suit. Probably the biggest head-scratcher is the desire and willingness to go around in circles for a lengthy predetermined period of time. In my case, this translates to 48 hours on a 1.004-mile loop course also known as The Endless Mile. Here is my story about finding my “48 Hours of Paradise” and how I manage to survive it year after year.
In the Beginning…
A little more than four years ago, I had the stupendously stupid idea of attempting a 100-mile race. This came off the heels of my fantastic failure at the 2016 Run for Kid’s Challenge where my “stomach” flu caused me to retire after 3 laps of 19 miserable miles. I had set a goal back in 2014 to do at least one ultra-marathon a year, and I needed another race to complete my goal in 2016. I was being lazy and really didn’t want to do any traveling for another race. Lo and behold, a beloved race director, David Tosch, decided to bring a 48-hour event to my own backyard in Alabaster, Ala. So I quietly began preparing for what has now become an annual tradition: The Endless Mile.
The only reason I even considered doing the Endless Mile is because, during my adventures in running, I ran into a spritely young man in his late-70s who talked of the promise land, known to some as endurance races. He asked, “Why only run for 8-12 hours when you can do it for 2 solid days?” Oh how easily I was deceived and bought into the Fool’s Gold that is endurance races. That was a long time ago now, and I’ve long since forgiven him. But one doesn’t simply wake up and decide to do a 100-mile race…or does he?
How (Not) to Train Your Dragon
So the obvious question that everyone likes to ask is how does one train for a 100-mile race? For me that answer is simple: you don’t. Until this year this I have not properly trained for this race. I’ve always managed to get my 100 miles done, but at what cost? I’m pretty sure I could write a semi-entertaining book called “Couch to 200K and Other Stupid Things You Shouldn’t Do.”
The correct answer is that you spend countless hours on your feet in any variety of situations: heat, cold, rain, wind, dry, humid and any combination in between. During the 2018 race the temperature swung almost 45 degrees in a 48-hour period. Your body’s ability to adapt to changing environments might be the difference between pressing on and quitting.
The next thing you do is to learn how to take care of your feet. Actually, this is the most important thing I’ve learned about endurance racing and, likely, the only thing I do right. YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR FEET. Yes, I am screaming in my blog. That’s how serious it is. I’ve watched many superior athletes retire from an ultra-race because their feet went wonky. It’s also something you won’t likely find out until you experience it yourself. I had to learn the hard way back in 2016 at the cost of a lost toenail and the ability to walk for a week. It was more than two weeks before I could wear anything other than a house slipper on my feet without them hurting.
The final thing you should consider is mental toughness. I think this aspect is what separates most people. How far and how long can you keep going when you are passing a place that gives you the option to stop every mile? That’s one of the things that makes this race so great. You can take a break at any time, but the cost of stopping can be extremely high. If you’re not careful, you find yourself lulled to sleeping or just stopping all together. After a while, the mind game moves to getting past the monotony of seeing the same scenery every 15-20 minutes. Honestly, it reminds me of slowed down version of National Lampoon’s European Vacation. “Hey look kids, there is Big Ben and Parliament!”
It gets mind- numbing and lonely. One tends to question all his life decisions during this race. I know I do it every year.
Lastly, (yes, I know I said the last thing was mental toughness, but at this point that’s already gone) how long can you go without sleep? This plays back to the whole mental toughness piece, but seriously, how long can you go without sleep? The year I did my best, I did not register any sleep through my Fitbit. I registered almost 60 hours between sleep periods. I’m hoping to pull off the same feat this year.
This Year
I’ve never adequately trained for the Endless Mile. Please don’t be shocked. I’m not a runner, I just the most stubborn lazy person you know. But this year is different. I began my training when the COVID-19 Pandemic shut down the world and haven’t stopped since. I completed a 1000-mile journey in less than 4 months and tried to better condition myself for success this year. This will be the first year I’ve attempted this race while weighing less than 200 pounds. Last year I started the race at 227 lbs. This year it will be ~197 lbs., and taking 30 lbs. off my knees will hopefully make a difference on around the 275,000 – 300,000 steps I intend to take.
Unfortunately, not everything is golden. I feel like this is the first year I’m walking into this race without my head in the right place. I’ve done a good job getting myself physically, but not mentally. The last 7+ months have been exhausting, and I haven’t found rest or a break. That’s on me and I’ll own it. Any prayers and good vibes sent my way would be appreciated.
I plan on documenting this trip through social media. I’ll let you see the highs and lows that come with a 48-hour race. It should let you see the fun and lunacy that takes place. Last, but not least, I’m going to leave you with a Best/Worst list for The Endless Mile. Happy travels, and I’ll leave the light on.
Best Things About the Endless Mile
It’s hard to get lost or off course
There is an Aid Station every mile
There is a bathroom every mile
Only ~20 feet of gain per loop
There’s lots of bacon
Familiar Places
Worst Things About the Endless Mile
There is an Aid Station every mile
Walking in circles makes you question your sanity
They only serve bacon in the morning
Other people get to sleep
Fireball
Relay Runners passing you by at 3 a.m. turning 7-minute miles.
I have always been told that all good stories should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. I barely remember the beginning of this story. I feel like I have been in the middle of it for months because I have. Now I am not sure how to process it as I approach the end. This morning I completed mile 990 of a 1,000-mile challenge. I am tired yet energized; excited but sad; hopeful and then again depressed. It seems like I am on that final lap of a 100-mile race when you have all the feels. The letdown always comes when you start back out on mile 101. That is what I am trying to avoid.
May 3, 2020, or 938 miles ago
So far, it has been more than 1.8 million steps; 500,000+ calories; 1,594 kilometres; 990 miles; 114 days; 17 audio-books; 8 fewer pounds; 4% less body fat; and 3 pairs of shoes since I started the first journey back on May 1st. I added a second race three weeks later that was supposed to happen concurrently and eventually would supersede the first one. Then, the organizers gave me an option to stretch the first race even further. Tomorrow, those two long journeys collide with another (much shorter) journey, and they will ultimately will culminate at the same finish line. A Triple Lindy of sorts. When I cross the finished line tomorrow, I will have finished the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee 1000 Mile Race, The Run Forest Run 717 Mile Virtual Race, and a ridiculously hard 10.5-mile Ridge to Blazing Ridge all at the same time. During the last week, I have had to remind myself that all good things come to an end. But this not the end, it is the beginning of something else.
I have spent the last week dwelling on this point as I have continued ticking the miles away. It’s to the point where people around me are asking what am I going to do when these challenges finally end. That is a great question. In the past, I just have stopped cold turkey and taken multiple months to start back. However, the numerous miles have dominated my life for the last several months, creating a kind of safety blanket insulating me from a very chaotic world. No matter what has been going on in my professional or personal life, I have had miles to go before I could rest. I have slept better, kept the weight off, and my mind feels a bit sharper. I do not think stopping is the wise option.
The light at the end of the tunnel
The reality is that the miles will slow down. I have friends out there who have no problem covering 300 miles a month or just 7 miles a day, every day. That is just not me. I still have movement goals out there, and I am less than two months out from the real race I have been training for: The Endless Mile. My older brother has chided me over the last several years because I have not trained properly for that race. My best result was effectively a Couch-to-200k in less than three months in 2018. I still need to write that story to tell people what “not” to do, or if they are going to be stubborn, how to get it done. This year, I have already knocked out more than 1,200 miles of total training including many miles in the brutal summer heat. My body’s rhythm is as effortless in its glide at the 3-mile mark as it is as at mile 30. I am ready now, but I need to be ready two months from now. Either way, my older brother will get his wish! But what comes next? I am not entirely sure, but I have two months to figure it out. All I know for certain is that this is not the end. Now, it’s time to go find that finish line…
Losing weight is easy. It is being willing to make and maintain the changes in behavior to make it happen that it is the hard part. Now that you have fallen for my click-bait worthy headline, let me tell you about my weight loss/behavior change experience. I felt the need to write this post because folks in my life kept asking me what I did to lose my weight. Do not get me wrong, I am very proud of the way I look and feel. I have been talking about getting back under the “Mendoza line” for years. This did not happen by accident, use of some gimmicky product, calorie counting, or by becoming a workout warrior. I simply changed my behavior. In my last blog post I talked about goals and behaviors. In this post I am going to walk you through my change in behavior process that led me to lose 45 pounds during an 8-month span. So, let me tell you my story the best way I know how, from the beginning.
August 2019
Looking back, I had a rough summer in 2019. A couple of folks in my circles left this world in untimely manners. I also turned 40 years old. I started noticing my clothes getting tighter and had to go buy new jeans in a larger size. It was larger than I had ever bought before. My weight was starting to creep up towards the 235 lb. mark. At my height, that is not terrible, but it’s only good if I am about 80% leaner and looking to be the starting linebacker for the hapless Atlanta Falcons. I decided I needed to lose weight and wanted to get back down closer to the 200 lb. mark. August is traditionally the time of year I begin my rigorous training regimen for The Endless Mile in October. That is right folks, I spend less than 3 months “training” for a 48-hour run. I started getting my regular 10 – 15-mile jaunts in and even some 20 milers. Here is the thing, when September rolled around, I was almost 240 lbs. and more than 32% body fat. I had not lost weight but gained weight – and it was not muscle. On a whim I decided I need to try something different: intermittent fasting.
Weight loss from August 2019 – July 2020
Intermittent Fasting and The Fall of 2019
Intermittent fasting is one of those buzz words you usually hear from dieters. People do fast for many reasons and different lengths of time. I chose to start off with a simple 16/8 schedule (16 hour fast/8 hour eating window). To put it simply, I started skipping breakfast. From 7 p.m. at night until 11 a.m. in the morning, I fasted. No meals, no drinks, only water and sometimes black coffee. I did probably 15 minutes of research before starting this new “diet” after Labor Day weekend. The word diet is a terrible way to describe this approach as it really was just a change in behavior. I did not significantly change what I ate. The drive thru lady at Taco Bell still remembered my name and face, but I did get quick results. I went from 237.5 lbs. to 227 lbs. during the month of September simply by changing behavior. This included a week long trip to Texas and Las Vegas where I ate like a king or at worst a minor noble.
At this point, I started doing a little more research in intermittent fasting and got some quick tips. I still did not take it all that seriously. However, I was committed to the change in behavior. I did not sway much from the 16/8 routine unless it was special events, such as a 48-hour endurance race or my buddy Ash’s Midget Wrestling Birthday party. From September to the end of November, my weight continued to decrease. It finally settled in around 216 lbs./ 25% body fat. by the end of November and pretty much held +/- 2 pounds of that until the end of February. I got frustrated with the lack of progress. But instead of quitting my intermittent fasting I kept doing it. I maintained my changed behavior. My body had a new set weight, but I just did not understand what that meant at the time.
Dr. Jason Fung and the Obesity Code
During Christmas break I made a trip to Atlanta to see my adopted second family. My change in appearance was noticeable and led to a discussion about intermittent fasting. My friend Daniel recommended reading The Obesity Code by Dr. Jason Fung. I immediately read it and found myself with a greater understanding of why I lost my weight and why it plateaued. It is a great deep-dive book into why diets initially work and fail, and it is filled with a plethora of fact-based research to support his assertions. In fact, most people would not enjoy it because of how dry and fact-based it is. However, the last chapter gives a couple of nuggets on how to make almost any diet work. His basic conclusion is this: any diet intended for long term weight loss that does not include some form of intermittent fasting will ultimately fail. The minute you stop dieting or go back to your old behaviors the weight will begin to return. It sounds rather simple, but it is true. Fung’s rather thorough review of the research points to controlling how the body makes and uses glucose as the key to control weight. Fasting gives your body the opportunity to burn glucose, or stored fat. He gives some other basic recommendations such as cutting out snacking and as much sugar as possible. This help keep the body from continually producing glucose stores. But I will not bore you with any more of the details. I will let the book do that for you.
Body Fat % from July 2019 – July 2020
The Season of COVID
The last few months have presented a lot of change for almost everyone I know. I am no different, maybe with the exception that my work routine remained the same. However, my consequences around my life outside of work has changed dramatically. My weight hung around the 214 – 218 range from December through almost April. I started to see some slight weight loss in middle of March as I began to get outside a little bit more and began exercising. I literally did no running or walking from late October through March. The addition of exercise got my weight moving in the right direction. In early April I did several 24-hour fasts that moved me off the set weight range I had been in for several months. Combined with exercise the weight got down to 200 pounds by the end of April.
In May 1st, I dropped down to below 200 pounds/20% body fat for the first time since leaving graduate school over 16 years ago. Over the past two months, I’ve logged over 640 miles of movement to complete a 1000K (621 mile) virtual race. I honestly expected to drop another 15 to 20 lbs. during this period since I’ve averaged burning more than 4800 calories a day for the last two months. However, that has not happened. My weight never dipped below 192 pounds and now sits around the 195 pound/18.5% body fat mark. This seems to be my new set weight. My body continues to redistribute weight around my frame despite not having significant changes in weight or body fat.
Body Fat vs. Lean Mass, September 2019 – July 2020
The Future
I currently feel like my weight is at a pretty good place and I want to keep it there. It’s been hanging out here for two months now. I continue to do the 16/8 fasting schedule, but I am less of a stickler for it on the weekends. I still enjoy a good hearty breakfast from time to time. The one point I want to get across is that my weight loss was more a result of a change in behavior than anything else. I stopped eating breakfast and snacking. It was not until late Spring that I really began to add the exercise component into this equation. At this point I have lost around 18% of my body weight, but over 42% of my body fat. I want to get that body fat loss to over 50%. Almost all my weight loss has been body fat and not lean mass. I know that if I want to maintain this weight, I must maintain my 16/8 fasting schedule. As I have mentioned throughout this blog post, my weight loss success was not the result of a diet, but a change in behavior.
One thing that I wish I had learned earlier in my life was that in order to I reach a goal you would often have to change behavior. Sounds really simple, right? Then why do most people fail? I believe the answer is simple: we fear change. It’s uncomfortable and we don’t like feeling that way. But that begs the question, if a goal doesn’t push you out of your comfort zone is it really a goal or just the continuation of an existing behavior or a slight modification to it? My belief is that the continuation is nothing more than a new standard or norm. There is nothing wrong with having standards, but goals should drive us to do something greater or something different. I’ll use myself as an example.
When I graduated high school I felt very lost. I thought I had dreams of becoming an architect and even a psychologist. I had no plan to get there and looking back I think these were things I said to people to make others happy. I graduated high school with a 2.78 GPA, ranked 222 out of 636 students in my graduating class. The fact that I remember things like this should tell you something about myself. I believed these things matter, but I was lazy, unmotivated, and had no direction. In many ways, I was just comfortable in my own uncomfortability. Psychologist might refer to this as a form of learned helplessness. It wasn’t until after my first semester of college and experiencing academic success that I truly began to understand the importance of goals.
I was fortunate in the fact that I began to dream big during that time and I laid plans out on what I wanted to do. I can remember make a list of things I wanted to accomplish at Montevallo the summer before attending. That list had about twenty things marked on it. It wasn’t until 2015 that I got to mark off the last thing on the list, getting inducted into the Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society. I didn’t have what most individuals would consider the typical college experience; I had an extraordinary one that I’m still reaping the benefits from today. Many of my goals during that time took me way out of my comfort zone and I had to grow to achieve them. What held true then still holds true now. However, what I value and how I do so has changed significantly. So my approach to goal setting has had to make that shift as well. I still follow the SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely) method, but I look and manage my goals through a five capitals model I was introduced to several years ago.
The Five Capitals
The basic idea behind the five capitals is that you use one capital to gain something in another capital. The capitals in order of importance from least to most are financial, intellectual, physical, relational, and spiritual. Think of it like a pyramid, similar to Maslow’s Hierarchy with Physiological which has (basic needs) on the bottom and Self Actualization (fulfillment, enlightenment) at the top. The Five Capitals Model is similar with Financial on the bottom and Spiritual at the top. In between you will find Intellectual, Physical, and Relational in the middle.
The idea behind the five capitals can be found in Jesus’s parable of the crooked/shrewd manager in Luke 16:1-20. The shrewd manager actually swindles his boss and his belongings to better himself when finds out he is going to be relieved of his duties, and likely losing a place to stay. I recommend you go back at read it AFTER reading this post. This tends to be one of the more confusing parables, but the point that Jesus was presenting was that the shrewd manager was using the most basic/financial means to gain relational favor. In this case, somewhere to go after he was let go. Hence, he was using the most basic capital (financial) to attain a more valuable capital (relational). This is an oversimplification of the story and the capitals, but I don’t really want to write 10,000 words delving into the deeper meanings. My goal is to make you think of a different approach to goal setting as well as realizing you are likely going to have to change your behavior to reach it. But to give you a more practical understanding of the five capitals, let me give you two examples:
You (yes,you) use your money to join a gym to get into better shape. You would be using your financial capital to gain physical capital.
You buy a Dave Ramsey book to learn how to manage your money. You get good at managing your money and start helping people. You make new friends through helping them save money. In this case you use some financial capital to gain intellectual capital. Then you use the intellectual capital to gain relational capital.
I don’t feel like I can do the five capitals justice in 500 words or less, but I tried. If you really want to dig into the concept of these particular five capitals, I recommend Oikonomics by Mike Breen & Ben Sternke. That leads me to my goals for 2020. Hopefully you have a proper frame to view them through now.
Financial Goals
Double the amount of money that I have in Savings by the end of the year.
Intellectual Goals
Read/listen to 24-30 books by the end of the year.
Physical Goals
Achieve and maintain weight range of between 195 – 205 lbs. (The Mendoza Line)
Achieve a body fat percentage less than 15%
Complete more than 1, 100 mile or more races including The Endless Mile.
Complete a 1,000 kilometre race
Relational Goals
Develop and maintain 2 or more new life enhancing/giving/breathing relationships this year.
Spiritual Goals
Seek God’s wisdom first in my decision making
Become literate in all of Jesus’s parables by the end of the year.
I started out my year with most of these goals. Most experts will tell you that you shouldn’t have more than 3 -5 goals, but I believe many of these are interconnected. For example, I’m listening to audiobooks when I go running/walking. That’s hitting at two goals at once for me. The goals that are underlined and in italics are ones that I’ve added since January. If you notice, I’m still trying to use the SMART system in writing out these goals where possible. A resolution to lose more weight provides no accountability nor destination weight. How can you measure something if you don’t know where you are going? What you can/will measure you manage.
I currently believe I will complete most of these goals. I’ve had to change my behavior in all five capital areas to make progress towards them. Some of these changes have been more uncomfortable than others. But I’m already starting to see benefits of it my physical and mental health. Others have noticed and asked what am I doing, so that’s one reason I’m writing it all down. I’m giving you the first step of my game plan. Goals become more real when you write them.
My questions for you today is are you making progress towards your goals? Do you even have goals? Today is May 1st. There is no time like the present to start goal setting. You still have 8 months left in this year. Heck, I started my quest to get below 200 lbs. well over six years ago. I didn’t start changing my behavior to reach that goal until September of last year. Only then did I start making progess. I know for many of you that 2020 has been a big ol’ bag of crap. As an old friend used to always tell me, “Nothing changes until something changes.” So what’s stopping you?
It’s been about 40 months since I wrote anything of substance for public discourse. I remember it well, or at least my Google docs does. It was the last Bowl Extravaganza Spectacular of Ridiculous: The Final Final Final Predictions for the infamous JP Predicts website. It was the end of a five-year journey where I joined three friends in writing absolutely ridiculous game capsules and predictions of SEC and Top 25 football games. I (JP) brought the bizarre insight. Ash was the most credible sounding, Nate was the Vandy fan who wore his heart on his sleeve. Honest Abe was anything but honest, but probably the most well liked. Yet, only a few select people ever knew who he really was behind the personality (It wasn’t me). The Prediction website brought us notoriety in the form of thousands of semi-faithful weekly readers, guest spots on radio, hate mail and even eventually a regular gig on in studio on a weekly radio show. My father always told me I had a face for radio… I think he was right.
So why did it stop?
Writing two weekly columns during football season and trying to keep them funny eventually wore me down. Heck, I think it did everyone else if I’m being honest. You can only recycle so many Dan Mullen jokes before they get stale, just like Florida’s offense since Urban Meyer left. If I (JP) provided the heart of the predictions, Ash and Nate provided the meat or substance of it. Honest Abe was the blood that kept it relevant, despite a BAC three times the legal limit. I began losing my passion for it in the Fall of 2016. In between grad school, professional career, a football prediction website, and life your time fills up and you burn out. Looking back I made one big mistake. I forgot to the really talk to my fellow predictors before pulling the plug. I just made the decision it was over and I was done. It’s never too late to back and apologize. In my truest form…
To Ash…
Thanks for jumping on the train even before it left the station. You got me to think outside the box and helped turned the website into more than I every thought would be. It rekindled our friendship and has led to some pretty amazing adventures long after we closed up shop. I don’t think there would have been years 2 – 5 if you had been absent. Also you brought Nate on board. Everyone needs a Vandy fan for a whipping boy, but I would have never found him myself. Besides, I needed someone that could be better than me at least 40% of the time. Thank you for being my Cole Naughton Jr. in my Rick Bobby world.
To Nate…
I always wanted to call you Nate Dawg, but for some reason I didn’t. That’s at least something to be thankful for on your end. Where Ash was on from the beginning, you caught the train before it left the station and none of us were the wiser for it. Having that second voice of reason as well as the eternal optimist and the champion of the underdog is what made our shtick with the penny flipper work. You ate crow with the best of us and the site would have had a different tone without you. Ultimately the brand (if that’s what you want to call it) would have suffered. I will remember you fondly and keep you in my thoughts and prayers for living in the land of the Leghummpers.
Honest Abe…
Ol’ Abe… You know and I know that the site would have never existed without your expertise. What I didn’t expect is for you to run with the idea of a penny flipper I dreamed up and own is so thoroughly. The true nature of your Jekyll and Hyde personality only made things even more funny for those of us who knew who the man/woman behind the penny really was. We never knew until almost publishing time what you were going to write or who you were going to insult. You always got the last word. If you had been a rug, you would definitely tied the room together. I’m sorry about how things ended and I feel bad that you don’t even watch football anymore. However, I won’t apologize to your or Ash for my disdain of Miller Light. That’s just a bridge too far for me.
So what’s next?
So now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest, I feel like I can start writing again, mostly guilt free. It was an apology that was long overdue, especially since we never got paid. I’ve missed writing almost as much as the Houston Astros or New England Patriots miss integrity. And if you are reading any of this for the first time, I recommend starting at the beginning. I’m got some lofty goals out in front of me maybe some stories to tell that will help others. If nothing else, I do it for mama.
The Holidays can sometimes be tough time for people. I’m no different. This year has been tougher than some. Recent events and a now debunked Santa holding a dying child story made me to begin reflecting on some of my own Christmas pasts…
One of the few Christmas memories from my childhood I can accurately recall was 1985. It is also one of my favorite! Like most boys my age, I loved G.I. Joe. I mean how can you not love an elite fighting unit that couldn’t hit a broadside of a barn to save their lives? Like most boys, I wanted every G.I. Joe toy I could get. I still remember opening exactly one present on Christmas Eve and it was the G.I. Joe A.W.E Striker Dune buggy. I was so excited! It was a sign of things to come…
The U.S.S. Flagg, 7.5 feet of basement filling goodness.
The next morning I woke up to find the U.S.S. Flagg fully assembled in our playroom basement. It was the must have G.I. Joe toy and I really wanted it. There is nothing quite like finding a 7’6” aircraft carrier in your basement on Christmas morning. When I got older I heard stories of just horrifying it was to put the thing together. Apparently my dad, brother, and neighbors spent hours trying to put it together. Many of my childhood Christmases were like this one. I got what I asked for from “Santa.” I was spoiled rotten without realizing it. I didn’t really come to understand or appreciate it that fact until I was older. I’m just thankful for the effort my parents put into it.
Another one of my favorite Christmas memories from my childhood was caroling. For several years my mother dressed a group of neighborhood kids up as reindeer and elves and took us to Brookwood Hospital on Christmas Eve. We would spend all afternoon wandering through the hospital singing Christmas carols to individuals and families. I can still remember nurses or family members running us down and taking us to wings of the hospital that we shouldn’t have technically been allowed on to sing to loved ones or people who were all alone. Looking back at my own experiences of being cooped up in a hospital for a week, I can only imagine what it felt like to spend Christmas there.
Both of these little happy tales lead me to recall my most poignant Christmas memory. It still sticks we me and reminds me of the many things I am thankful for. This story takes place nine years ago. I look back at this time at my life and sometimes wonder how I made it through.
Let me preface this story by stating I had just switched jobs in late October, 2007. I had recently moved from being a foster care worker with the state to a facility/group home director with a private company. In December 2007, I was in transition from facility/group home director to executive director as my predecessor, unbeknownst to me, originally hired me to replace him. To add to the complexity, the company was also in the process of opening its second and third facility during the month of December. In addition, the end of November saw the end to an almost two year personal relationship. My life was in a state of transition.
I worked more hours during that month than I did not. I worked at least eight hours every day for the entire month. Most days it was in excess of sixteen hours and sometimes it stretched beyond the twenty-four hour mark. I often worked one shift at one facility only to cover another shift at one of the other facilities later that day. At the time, it was my way of dealing with loss. I wasn’t the only one working such long, crazy shifts. My friend David worked every day of that month as well.
There is one memory that sticks with me to this day from this season in my life. It was Christmas Eve. I was working at our Columbiana facility and all but two boys were able to be with family for Christmas. I went into work that afternoon and would be with them the next twenty four hours. Just like the people in the hospital from my earlier story, they were stuck at the facility and away from family for the holidays.
Dewayne and Richard couldn’t have been any different. Dewayne was 14 and from New Orleans. He ended up in Alabama when his family fled Hurricane Katrina. His mother abandoned him along with some older siblings to go back and work on a cruise ship. He ended up in foster care. He’d go long periods of time between communication and she made no effort to come and get him. Dewayne was a hustler, street smart, and had a quick temper. He was undersized for his age and dressed differently than the folks of Shelby County. He felt like an outcast and presented like an outcast.
Richard was 16 and from the local area. Richard was easy going and I don’t recall the whole story of why he was in care. Richard was from the country, well liked by his peers, and girl crazy. Richard was stuck at the facility because his relative resource couldn’t pass a background check. He was really disappointed to be stuck at the facility. He had family close by, but had not been made a priority.
The last place any of us wanted to be that Christmas Eve was stuck in that facility. Usually the facility residents did a good job of entertaining themselves, but with only two youth present, the place seemed empty. I felt bad about the situation and decided to take them out to eat instead of making some of my facility famous out of the box jambalaya. Well as most of you know, there isn’t much open after 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve. We eventually made it all the way up to Hoover and Stix’s Japanese Steakhouse. I wanted the boys to experience a hibachi grill and all the fun that a chef brings with it.
Stix for the uninitiated.
What I failed to realize was neither Dewayne nor Richard had ever been to a sit down restaurant, much less order off a menu. They had only ordered off a fast food menu on a wall. It was eye opening and very sad at the same time. There are so many things I have taken granted in this life. Knowing how to order off a menu or how to act in a restaurant is among them. With a little direction, both Dewayne and Richard were able to order their food and were treated to a show. I think the chef could tell it was their first time and played things up. The other family that sat at our table managed to get both of my kids to talk and we had a great night. They made them feel welcome, normal, and accepted. It was the only time I saw either of the boys smile during my stay with them over Christmas. By the end of dinner they were laughing and cutting up with the other family, chef, and myself. It was a Christmas Miracle! For a moment, they were just normal teenage boys. I remember getting back to the facility and playing video games until it was time to go to bed. Both of them were in such a good mood.
Christmas morning was always a magical time for me as a kid all the way until I flew the coop and went to college. But this Christmas morning was different. Reality of the situation started to sink in for both boys. Both Dewayne and Richard slept in as they had already opened their presents with the other children before they left for the holidays. Christmas was just another day away from loved ones for them. It was also a day when this situation was magnified for them because their peers were all somewhere else. I still remember hanging out around the facility all day that day. Both boys eventually got bored of playing video games and of each other. Despite my best efforts, they spent most of the afternoon in their rooms. A little after 4 p.m. on Christmas Day I was relieved of duty and allowed to go spend Christmas with my family.
I felt guilty for a long time afterwards for leaving Dewayne and Richard and going to celebrate with my family. I wondered for a long time if they felt like I had abandoned them like they expressed of others. The point of me telling this story is to remind myself and others that we all go through our struggles. The month of December in 2007 was probably one of the most stressful in my life. Yet, my struggles and problems seemed pale in comparison to those faced by Dewayne or Richard. It didn’t make mine any less real, but it added perspective. Sometimes we get worked up over things that we shouldn’t. We also sometimes get tunnel vision on our problems and don’t realize the hurt and suffering going on around us. What we can be is kind. Our actions will almost always speak louder than our words. In this case, the family sitting with us at Stix’s treated the boys with respect. Their kindness didn’t cost a thing. It set the tone for the rest of the evening. It made my difficult job easier that evening, but most importantly, it made some teenage boys going through a difficult patch in their life feel respected. The holiday season can be overwhelming, but please remember to be kind. The act of giving goes far beyond physical gifts and remember, kindness doesn’t cost a thing except effort.
Final Thoughts on a First Impression 