Month: January 2012

An Inside Trader, A Racist, And A Crazy Businessman Walk Into a Bar…

Unfortunately for me, current conversations have shifted from the world of college football to the world of politics. Fortunately, it’s a presidential election year, which means primary season is getting into full swing.  I’ve spent the last several days shaking my head at people from both parties stating opinions as fact in regards to the evil world of politics.  Political trolling is already out in full force.  It reminds me that most people had already mentally checked out during their Senior year Government/Civics Class.

I love tossing around the ole' pigskin because I know that bacon is a by product. It's a win-win situation for me.

My last blog post  took a shot across the bow of the failings of our current two party system.  Amazingly (or not!), that post has created some very intellectual conversation for me the last couple of days.  It’s definitely brought back my love/hate relationship I used to have with politics back before I started my love affair with the foosball.  Now onto some more of my incoherent ramblings…

1. It’s all about the Ground Game.

The tightening up the Republican nomination race is certainly going to make for great TV for the 24 hour news networks for the next month or so.  I greatly enjoyed watching the same process four years ago with the Hillary/Obama race.  Most people don’t truly understand how much Obama’s extremely flexible, ground operation (GO) has changed the future of how a national race will be ran.  His ground operation four years ago was a well oiled machine that caught Hillary’s dream team consultants completely off guard and put McCain’s advisers behind the eight ball before the national conventions began. (If the first thing you thought about was ACORN I’m shaking my head at you right now.)

If the Republican nomination is still up for grabs in mid-February you will begin to see the front runners (Romney, Gingrich) start to spend some real money in this state.  What I will be watching is to see who has best emulated and improved on the Obama Ground Operation strategy that was so effective for him four years ago.  From that factor alone, I’ll make a prediction on who will be our president this time next year with around fifty percent confidence.

2.  Not every political race produces a winner

Already knows for sure whether or not Girl Scout Cookies are going to $4.00 a box next year.

Sticking with the politics theme here…  Not every political race produces a winner, just someone that is the lesser evil.  Alabama has been a very Red or conservative state during my lifetime.  The sixth congressional district in which I have live votes 80-90% Republican.  So the Republican primary race is essentially a de facto election to congress.  The only way someone other than a Republican wins this seat would be if Nick Saban or Jesus of Nazareth ran as a Democrat (It would still be close).

This year there are five candidates running in the Republican primary.  I hate to call two of them political nobodies, but that is what they are. (according to the so-called experts!)

Still looking for work after the George Clooney stunt double gig did not work out.

The other three established contestants with name recognition have been characterized as a crook, a racist, and a crazy man.  Before you jump on me for using those words, I highly recommend you read Kyle Whitmire’s commentary from last week’s Weld for Birmingham entilted Beason, Bachus, and Pate promise primary won’t be boring.

It seems like no matter what happens, one of them will be heading off to congress.  To most rational people, (regardless of party) there is nothing to get excited about.

The most environmentally friendly of the three, Pate has been seen using old Lease signs re-purposed for campaign signs.

Bachus’s alleged insider trading would automatically cost him re-election in most years.  Beason’s “courageous conversatism” that directly lead to the firing of 700 Jefferson County employees and being labeled as a racist would keep him from being a contender most years as well.  Then there is Stan Pate.  His not so behind the scenes tinkering within the Republican Party and eccentric tendencies would usually make him a fringe candidate.

If elected, Saban would have move statue to the field to coach in his place.

This leaves people with only one real choice.  Write in Nick Saban for congressman.  He’s the only one with name appeal to do so.  As an Auburn fan,  this would help get him out of the state for several months a year and distract him from coaching.  If you can’t get behind this idea, how about someone start pushing Paul Finebaum?  Either way, the next several weeks should be very interesting as the campaigns go on the offensive and start attacking one another.  Calling the kettle black would not be good for any of them, especially Scott Beason.

Until next time, or maybe the time after that…


28 Days Later… (And Other Non-Sequential Ramblings)

Kind of what my eyes looked like 28 days ago. However, I wasn't craving brains at that time.

Hard to believe that it has been 28 days since my surgery.  It more or less feels like its been several months.  My usual time counter in my head feels like its been thrown off, lost in some never-ending Disney movie.  With all that being said, things are slowly returning to a state of “normal.”  Its not the same  state of “normal” that was disrupted with surgery, but at least its something my mind is beginning to understand and accept.  My eyes have completed most of their physical healing process now.  The task ahead of me is to try and get them to “do thy bidding.”  Right now there is still a bit of a disconnect between my brain and my eyes or at least that is the way if feels.  There are some things I’m already noticing some improvement in and other things I’m waiting for the “light” to come back on. As I’ve said several times before… patient time.

There have been many things over the last week I’ve wanted to write or ramble on about.  I’ll try and keep my thoughts brief, because now you kids with your loud music, and your Dan Fogleberg, your Zima, hula hoops and pac-man video games have attention spans that can only be measured in nanoseconds!  Did I lose you there?

1. You are either with us or against us…

 Last week I had an insightful political discussion with an old high school friend.  If that sounds like an oxymoron to you it should.  Politics is usually one of those things I don’t enjoy discussing because people always believe their view is the only correct one.  In this country you are usually classified as a Republican/Democrat or good/evil… or is it the other way around?  A handful call themselves Independent, (what does that really mean?) but the mainstream establishment pretty much ignores them.

Warren Beatty made a masterpiece about Washington politics that went largely unnoticed.

I became disillusioned with our whole two party system while working in Washington, D.C., almost a dozen years ago.  I got to see quite a bit inside and out while I was up there.  The sad matter of the truth is the difference between most politicians up there was not the (R) or the (D) by their name, but whether they were getting money from this lobbyist or that one.  Yet the “fair and balanced” twenty-four news networks make both sides out like they are polar opposites when in reality they are not.

The truth of the matter is that most people have beliefs that fall firmly in both camps.  However, you have to chose one or the other.  You are either with me or against me… and if you are against me, you are wrong.  Don’t believe me?  Look at your face book feed right now and see how many people demonize our current president.  Now use the timeline feature and go back three plus years and guess what?  The other half demonized our last president in the same way.  

It’s kind of like living in the state of Alabama.  You are either an Alabama or an Auburn fan.    We act as if there is a world of difference between anything related to the two schools.  Many of us go as far as to “villianize” aspects of what the other one does.  When in reality, we are much more alike than different.  And heavens forbid if you cheer for anyone else… it just doesn’t matter (Yes, UAB equals third party in this equation).  Your opinion is of no consequence.  

I'm still not quite sure who I'm stuck in the middle with...

In conclusion, the problems we face as a country do not have a simple right or wrong answer and will remain unaddressed with the current grandstanding, finger pointing, and posturing in which both parties participate.  There are more than just two points of view.  Unfortunately, the system is built to keep a true third, fourth, or fifth point of view from establishing itself in our body politics (Nice try, but no dice Tea Party, Occupy).  This realization keeps people like me, who are truly moderate, disillusioned and un-involved.  So next time you ask… I’m not against or with you.  I’m just watching…

2.  I remember when a sackful from Krystal’s was only about torturing yourself

The “alleged” story of Mr. Brian “T-Bag” Dowling should be a cautionary tale to all of us…  Don’t go to Krystal’s when you are drunk.  Go to Waffle House instead.  I’ve seen many a fool in Waffle House after midnight trying to sober up or just torture their body with “wholesome American food goodness.”

Waffle House is there ANY TIME you need them. However, I'm not quite sure why they have locks on their doors...

However, those waitresses don’t take crap off of anyone.  Flo is going to boot you out or use the “red” phone long before you use your genitals to massage someone’s neck.  Likewise, they aren’t going to let anyone outside of a uniformed professional do anything to you.  They won’t abandon you like that LSU guys friends did in the French Quarter.  In a way, those Waffle House employees are like guardian angels.  Let this be a lesson to all of us.

3.  Weather Radios Save Lives, Get One.

The loss of life this week is no laughing matter.  From the looks from the damage, it could have been much worse.  However, I wonder how many lives have already been saved  this year from a better educated public?  I watched meteorologist James Spann live in April of 1998 when he stayed on the air saving countless lives through the first Oak Grove tornado.  The same can be said for the events of April 27, 2011.

I couldn't agree more, Mark.

However, not everyone is going to wake up to the sound of an approaching storm or to a tornado siren (which is not intended for indoors) or have James Spann break into their dreams telling them to take cover.  A weather radio is designed to do just that.  It will wake you up.  You can even get a weather radio app (which you can customize) for you smart phone for around ten bucks if you don’t want to get a real one.  It helps me rest easier knowing that some computerized voice is looking out for me.

4.  PUNT!

If you have enjoyed the mostly non-sense I’ve shared with you today feel free to follow my blog. (there’s a button somewhere on this page, can you find it?)  I plan on updating it regularly with whatever peaks my interest.  Feel free to comment or email me with any questions.  I usually answer…  Until next time…

A Pirate’s Life is Not for Me!

Its been awhile since I checked in, but I have some legitimate excuses this time.  I would like to thank everyone for your well wishes, thoughts, and prayers over the last several weeks.

I would be lying if I said the last three weeks have been enjoyable.  I would also be lying if I said I’ve totally hated the last three weeks.  The truth lies somewhere in the middle.  I would have written sooner, but issues with my recovering vision and perception have made typing a bit queasy at best.  Some of you are probably scratching your heads at that last statement so I will do my best to explain…

What Pirate Jeff might have looked like. Reports of his demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Every time I’ve had eye surgery they have worked on the muscles surrounding my eye.  Some of the surgeries have involved as few as one muscle in one eye where the most aggressive one involved both eyes and a total of six muscles.  This last surgery involved both eyes and three muscles.  She originally only planned on working on two muscles… one on each eye.  She made a judgement call to go ahead and work on the third muscle hopefully preventing surgery number eight.

However, the additional procedure caused me a great deal of stress as it initially made things much worse for me and not better.   Unluckily for me, the third procedure has taken a lot longer to heal (this is somewhat expected) than the other procedure done on the same eye.  This has kept my eyes from properly aligning which in turn has completely thrown my eyes and perception off.  For about a week and some change things with my vision were very much touch and go.  This in turn has led to lots of headaches and a very distorted, unreal world.  It gets beyond frustrating when things fail to make sense when you know they should.  For most people, their eyes are the primary way they perceive the world.  Mine are no different in that function.  In the end, the only thing I could do was wear an eye patch to keep my sanity.

Over the last four or five days things have started correcting themselves back to a more “normal” state.  This has been in part due to healing and my brain trying to accept “global re positioning” of the eyes.  In turn, I’ve started to try and avoid roadside ditches by losing the eye patch.  I honestly expected this surgery to be the easiest yet it has been the most difficult.  I’m not sure if it is because I’m older and more aware or my brain doesn’t like resetting itself.  Slowly, but surely, the lights are starting to come back on.  I’m trying to be positively optimistic that in the end, it will be much brighter than before.  But for now… I’ll wait, pray, and be patient.